The way you ask for someone's time reveals more about your professionalism than any resume ever could. In a world where everyone is busy, the respect you show for others' time becomes your strongest competitive advantage.
The Hidden Psychology of Time Respect
We all have the same 24 hours, but not all time is valued equally. When someone with significant responsibilities gives you their attention, they're making a non-refundable investment in you.
People are inherently protective of their time—and rightfully so. No matter their status or achievements, nobody wants to do unnecessary work, especially when it's created by someone else's lack of preparation.
The effort you invest before asking for someone's time directly determines the quality of what you'll receive in return.
Tim Ferriss, who has interviewed hundreds of world-class performers, has a simple philosophy: "Respect people's time and they'll respect yours. Most people waste the first 15 minutes of any interaction, which is why most interactions are mediocre." His "if-then" email frameworks make responding as frictionless as possible, often requiring just a single-word answer from busy recipients.
The Cost of Unclear Asks: A Personal Story
At Your Soul Time, we receive collaboration requests daily. The ones that frustrate me most follow a predictable pattern: they begin with paragraphs of backstory about a project I have no context for, meander through various possibilities without a clear ask, and—perhaps most tellingly—rarely mention what we would receive in return.
These messages force me to do the mental labor of:
- Figuring out what they actually want
- Determining if it's even possible
- Calculating what a fair exchange would look like
- Creating the structure for next steps
By the time I've done all this work, I've already invested more energy than the sender did in crafting their request. This imbalance almost guarantees I'll decline, regardless of the potential opportunity.
The requests that get immediate responses? They're clear, concise, and considerate of our time and interests. They show the sender has done their homework about what Your Soul Time actually does and values.
The Art of the High-Value Ask
Let's get practical with another common scenario:
You want to propose a business collaboration with a local brand. Before firing off a generic email, do your homework:
- Research their brand values, customer base, and product range
- Study the founder's background, interests, and public statements
- Identify recent company wins, challenges, or pivots
Your opening message should immediately signal your preparation level. Reference something specific—perhaps a recent company announcement or founder interview—that connects to your proposal.
Then comes the crucial part: state your request with laser precision.
- ❌ "I was wondering if maybe you'd be interested in possibly exploring some kind of potential collaboration..."
- ✅ "I'm seeking a 30-minute call to discuss a co-marketing opportunity that could increase your email subscribers by 15%."
Alex Hormozi puts it perfectly: "Clarity is respect. Vagueness is selfish." When you're vague, you're forcing the other person to do the mental work of figuring out what you really want.
Only after your crystal-clear ask should you provide supporting context. At this point, the recipient understands:
- You've done your research (showing respect)
- Exactly what you're asking for (creating clarity)
- Why you've approached them specifically (establishing relevance)
Make the Next Step Effortless
When I receive a collaboration proposal for Your Soul Time that clearly states what they want, why they chose us specifically, and what we'll get in return, I'm immediately more receptive. When they end with a simple next step that requires minimal effort from me, I'm likely to say yes even during a busy week.
For significant requests like investment discussions or major collaborations, the natural next step might be a meeting.
This is where most people drop the ball. They end with "Let me know when you're free to chat" – creating work for the recipient.
Instead, make the next step ridiculously simple: "If this interests you, just reply 'go' and I'll send a Calendly link with times that work for me."
Dan Martell, who receives hundreds of outreach messages weekly, says: "The best cold emails give me a binary choice. I can decide in seconds rather than minutes, which means I actually respond."
The R.C.V. Method for Respectful Outreach
I've distilled this approach into a simple framework you can apply to any request:
- Research - Do the work upfront and show evidence of it
- Clarity - State precisely what you want without hedging
- Value - Make the value exchange and next steps crystal clear
Leila Hormozi frames it brilliantly: "In business, preparation is a form of generosity. When you come prepared, you're giving the gift of efficiency."
This Week's Challenge
Identify the single most important email you need to send this week. Before writing it:
- Spend 20 minutes researching the recipient
- Draft your request in one clear sentence
- Make your desired next step so simple it can be answered in one word
- Edit ruthlessly until it's half the length you think it needs to be
Then send it and observe how much faster and more positive the responses become.
Remember: In a world where attention is increasingly fragmented, the ultimate sign of respect is respecting other people's time. It's not just good manners—it's your competitive edge.
